Episode 222: Humour: the secret weapon for better work relationships (even if you think you’re not funny) – with Adam Christing

Episode 222: Humour: the secret weapon for better work relationships (even if you think you’re not funny) - with Adam Christing

Jeremy Cline [00:00:00]:
Laughter is one of those fundamental evolutionary traits that we have as humans. A baby instinctively knows how to smile and laugh long before they can talk. So, how can we inject humour into the workplace? How do you make people laugh even if you don't think you're very funny? And what are the limits to humour at work so that you stay professional? That's what we're going to be talking about in this week's episode. I'm Jeremy Cline, and this is Change Work Life. Hello and welcome to Change Work Life, the podcast that's all about beating the Sunday evening blues and enjoying Mondays again. I'm a career coach, you can find out more about that at changeworklife.com/coaching, and in each episode, my guests and I bring you tips, strategies, and stories to help you enjoy a more satisfying and fulfilling working life. TV shows like The Office demonstrate that there's plenty to laugh about when it comes to the world of work. But what place does humour have as you go about your daily job? Can it be used to deepen relationships with colleagues and build trust? If so, what are the limits? And how can you use humour if you don't think of yourself as a funny person? To answer these questions and more, I'm joined this week by Adam Christing, a keynote speaker, award-winning MC, and author of The Laughter Factor: The 5 Humor Tactics to Link, Lift, and Lead. Adam, welcome to the podcast.

Adam Christing [00:01:36]:
Great to be with you, Jeremy. Thank you.

Jeremy Cline [00:01:39]:
So, what is it about humour that makes it such a powerful tool in the workplace?

Adam Christing [00:01:44]:
Well, you know, I wrote a book on it, and I'm still learning more and more. It still surprises me how it's almost magical, the impact that humour can have. I think it probably goes back to our very biological nature as human beings, our need to want to bond. So, my wife and I have two grandsons, and our newest grandson is not even a year old yet. But what we noticed was even before he can talk, he's laughing with his mom and dad, and it's like this bonding moment where they make him laugh, he makes them laugh. And there's something contagious about it. And so, where it gets tricky, of course, in the workplace, is using humour that's appropriate, but it certainly is a powerful tool in the workplace. And I love the theme of your work and your show. I think change is actually baked into the best type of humour, because when there's a punchline, or when there's a moment that surprises a listener, it's almost like a mini epiphany, like an a-ha kind of moment. It does belong in the workplace, I look forward to discussing with you some tips and some things to avoid in that way.

Jeremy Cline [00:03:01]:
As part of your research for the book, did you look into things like the origins of humour and laughter? So, I mean, I've no idea, for example, whether it is just a human trait or whether it's across the animal kingdom.

Adam Christing [00:03:13]:
Oh, great question. I did do some research on that, and it seems like science and research is showing that it goes beyond the human. Of course, we have language, which gives us probably access to more types of humour, but the joy, the camaraderie is part of the mammal... Maybe, I don't know about the insect kingdom, but it's certainly part of the mammal kingdom. And what really struck me is, a lot of researchers are pointing out, and they should, how powerful humour is as a stress reducer, as a tool for wellness. But what surprised me the most about my research, Jeremy, was seeing the incredible impact it has on connecting us to each other, to our customers, to our vendors, even sometimes with our competitors. And so, one of my favourite sayings that is in my book is, humour is a shortcut to trust.

Jeremy Cline [00:04:17]:
And it's one of those things which is cross-cultural, cross-language. I mean, even people who can't communicate because they just don't speak one another's language can still communicate through laughter, among other things.

Adam Christing [00:04:32]:
That's so true. Just a few weeks ago, I was in Indonesia, and I think one of the reasons they hired me to speak and to host their event was they had representatives there from Asia, Europe, North America, and other parts of the globe. And so, my first thought was, what can I do that gets us all laughing at the same time together that transcends? I'm an American, so I would gravitate probably toward colloquialisms and things that are unique to the US. So, I did a simple little magical illusion with three or four people from different parts of the world. And what I noticed was, it reminded me of what I already knew, and that is that laughter does transcend these language barriers. But here's the key, as long as we all feel like we're invited to the party. And so, the flip side of humour, something like sarcasm, would be a disconnector, kind of like, I'm smart, and you're not. So, maybe my first tip for your listeners is, make sure that your humour is inclusive. We want to laugh with people and not at them.

Jeremy Cline [00:05:45]:
So, before we dive deeper into what people can do, can you give one or two practical examples or scenarios of where you've seen humour be particularly effective in the workplace?

Adam Christing [00:05:58]:
I've seen it create a sense of closeness that, of course, there's the emotional connection, but even physically. So, think of this, if you were to watch a television programme or a movie, I'm not sure if people are still going to movie theatres, maybe once in a while, but when something funny happens, our instinct is not just to laugh, say, at the screen, but to look over to our companion, our co-worker, our spouse, whoever it might be, and kind of like nudge them, almost make a physical connection like, 'We're in this together.' So, one of the first things I try to do as an event host, for example, is get people seated closer to the stage and closer to each other. And so, when we do that, and by the way, this is one of the big secrets, I grew up in Los Angeles where there was a time in the 1980s and the '90s where it seemed like there was a comedy club on every corner, people would, in fact, no joke, there was a bowling alley that had a comedy club in the corner, but the secret to the best comedy clubs in terms of laughter, there's one in Southern California called the Ice House, and historically, this literally had been an ice house where they used to pack ice. And somewhere in the 1970s or '80s, they converted it into a nightclub. And comedians kept noticing, wow, I know I'm doing the same material, but the laughs are much stronger. And the reason is, the laughter is bouncing off the walls and making people feel more connected. And so, I think one of the big keys is, when you're giving a presentation, even if it's in a boardroom, get people closer together so it doesn't feel like a lecture. It feels like a shared experience.

Jeremy Cline [00:07:47]:
Does everyone have a sense of humour?

Adam Christing [00:07:51]:
I've met a few people who make me wonder. I want to hire a detective to find out. But I believe we do. I believe, in fact, I don't think it's a coincidence that the word human and the word humour, whether you spell it H-U-M-O-U-R, which is my favourite way of spelling it because it has 'our' built in, but the root word of humour and human is the same thing. So, I think we're not only human beings, we're innately humour beings. But what happens is, many of us will try a joke, or we'll convince ourselves, oh, I'm just not funny, or I'm only funny at home, or I'm only funny with the kids, or I'm only funny if I've had a few drinks, and so we build up a defence system. I'm sure you've met people who say, 'I'm just not good at memorising names.' Well, probably what happened is, you felt embarrassed at some point because you forgot someone's name. And so, now you use this sort of alibi that says, I'm just not good with names. Well, if you took that extra moment and heard the person's name and maybe repeated it and maybe linked it to their face, you would be better at remembering their name. In the same way with humour, the first person you need to entertain is really yourself, is to know, wow, I do have a sense of humour. Like for me, I don't do off-colour jokes, I don't really get into political humour, certainly not on stage, but sometimes I have to remind myself, they're going to have more fun if I'm having fun. And so, that's a long answer to your short question. But yes, I think we all have a sense of humour, and we need to celebrate it.

Jeremy Cline [00:09:34]:
That's interesting because I was drawing a distinction in my head between having a sense of humour, so having the, I don't know, ability to laugh at a joke, and being funny. Or are the two inextricably linked?

Adam Christing [00:09:50]:
That's a fantastic question. That's one of the best questions I've been asked doing a number of podcasts. I think not only do you have a sense of humour, a sense of humour has you.. And what I mean by that is, just like, let's say, an optimist sees the glass as half full, a pessimist sees the glass half empty. They're looking at the same glass. Well, you have innately what I call a laugh language. It's your go-to way of enjoying humour. And chances are, what makes you laugh is the same approach that will help you delight other people. So, for example, one of the laugh languages that I unpack in my book is surprise. And so, I love surprises. I love it when someone sends me a funny joke or a card. So, for example, a friend of mine sent me a half birthday card, six months before my birthday, and it tickled me. It made me laugh. That was very thoughtful, very clever. And so, I ordered some, and then I've been sending them. And so, it's like the gift that keeps on giving. One of the keys is to think about what it is that you enjoy in humour. And this isn't always the case, but in my experience, most of the time, that's also the best tool for you to generate humour and laughter with other people.

Jeremy Cline [00:11:12]:
That's interesting because the next question I had was about authenticity. I mean, I'm all for trying new things out. But sometimes, you can, I don't know, try and copy an approach of a comedian you like, and it just falls flat, and it just doesn't feel like you. But it sounds like from what you're saying that, if you can hone in on things in particular which you find funny, which make you laugh, then that could be a good indicator to what you may then be able to bring into your interactions with other people, so how you demonstrate your own sense of humour.

Adam Christing [00:11:50]:
Very good. I think the key is to use other humour as a model and don't become a mimic. I know as a young man, I would mimic some of my comedy heroes like Steve Martin. And at best, people would say, 'Hey, that's a pretty good impression of Steve Martin.' But when I started finding my own voice, and that only comes from trying it out, and again, the danger is you try a new joke or leading people in an icebreaker or a sketch, and when you don't get the feedback you want, our impulse is to withdraw, 'Well, I'm not trying that again.' But I will tell you, as a professional humourist, comedian, this just happened to me last week. I was in front of probably 800 people, and I tried out an impromptu joke, and it fell really flat. And so, I took my handheld microphone and pretended like it was a big Sharpie, and I said, 'Well, that's going out of the routine.' And that got a really big laugh, because to use the word you just mentioned, authenticity, I was real with the audience in the moment. Like, hey, that wasn't very funny. But instead of saying, 'You didn't get it', or in my mind saying, 'I can't do this', I just acknowledged in an authentic way what was happening in the moment. And so, my favourite type of humour, especially in the workplace, is the kind that emerges organically. Where it doesn't mean as a leader, for example, that you have to be the funniest person in the room, but you can be an orchestrator of the fun.

Jeremy Cline [00:13:24]:
So, what does that mean, being an orchestrator of the fun?

Adam Christing [00:13:28]:
Well, I think of an orchestra, you think of the conductor, and usually, I'm guessing a conductor might know how to play several instruments or know music, but what he or she is doing is pulling out the best of other people who are playing their instruments. And I also like this idea, and maybe I'm biased, Jeremy, because I am a keynote speaker, but the idea of a keynote goes back to someone striking a key note that sets the tone for a concert, let's say, or performance. As a leader, you can strike a keynote that tells people, and this goes back to being an orchestrator of the fun, like, this is a safe place to laugh. And again, it doesn't mean you have to do a monologue. So, I'll give you a specific example. The other day I was hosting an event, and they said, 'Hey, we need you to fill eight minutes.' You know, the next speaker is running a little bit late, or we're ahead of schedule, which is rare at a corporate event. And so, rather than going up there and trying to be Mr Funny Man, I went into the audience, and I said, 'Get with a neighbour here in the room and talk about either the worst or best gift or best holiday gift you've ever received.' And then, we just spent the next six to eight minutes talking about that. And there were some very funny answers. You know, my mom put a potato in my stocking. And then, someone else said, 'The last gift I got that was the best was the gift of peace.' So, there were moments of laughter, and then there were moments where people were like, 'Ah, that's beautiful.' And so, we were just experiencing that together. So, to be an orchestrator of fun is, first, to say this is a safe place where we can laugh together. And next is to be intentional. How can I lead people into moments of laughter without forcing the funny?

Jeremy Cline [00:15:18]:
And that really goes to what you were saying about connection, because you've just reminded me of a memorial service, of all things, that I went to, where at the start of the service, the person who was officiating, I suppose, for want of a better word, encouraged us all to turn to the person next to us and tell each other which was our favourite tree and why. And then, when we all did that, she said, 'Well, now you know someone who knows what your favourite tree is.' And it just created that completely random but little bit of connection.

Adam Christing [00:15:56]:
Well, I'm curious, how did that work in the context of a memorial service? Did it feel appropriate?

Jeremy Cline [00:16:04]:
It was unexpected, but yes, appropriate. I think appropriate for two reasons. One was that it wasn't a formal religious affair. I think memorial service is probably giving it a bit too formal a title. It was more like a remembrance celebration or something like that. So, that was one of the contexts. The other was that the person who we were remembering was someone who did these seemingly random things to bring people together. So, he worked in a tall office block, and he got, I think it was like a weekly activity where people would start on the ground floor, and they would walk up the stairs to the 20-somethingth or 30-somethingth floor, and just, he made that an event.

Adam Christing [00:16:58]:
Oh, I love that. Well, whoever was that officiant probably had a moment where they thought, 'Should I do this little mini icebreaker or not?' And they took that chance, and it sounds like it was a positive move, because it made people feel a small, quick connection. I'll tell you one of the best audiences I've ever had, I was so in shock, I got a call to be the entertainer for an association of funeral directors, and there were about 200 of them gathered, and I thought, "Oh, these are serious, sombre people, and they're dealing with death." And I've been at many funerals. And the opposite was true. This group laughed louder, harder together. And I think it's because they are probably more conscious than most of us of the brevity of life. One of my favourite humourists was the great Will Rogers. This is, wow, 100 years ago now. But he said, 'Life is short, get all the good laughs you can.' And so, there are many ways to tap into your sense of humour and other people's sense of humour, but maybe the most important thing is to be intentional about it, to say in our place of work, like on your podcast, I feel very free to have a conversation. I don't feel any limits. I enjoy what you're saying. I hope you're enjoying what I'm saying. In the same way at work, one of the words in your description is life, and so we want to intentionally bring more life to the workplace.

Jeremy Cline [00:18:36]:
One of the things that I had caused to do quite a lot of in my previous role was training. Training presentations, that kind of thing. But it was largely training on fairly dry, fairly technical topics. I'm interested to know your thoughts on how to use humour in that kind of a scenario, so it doesn't just become an 'I am passing information on to you' thing. I suppose as a tip for making it stick as much as anything else, as well as not making it a chore, both for the person doing the training and the people who are there to listen.

Adam Christing [00:19:22]:
I'll tell you a quick story. Years ago, I paid a lot of money to attend a seminar by a marketing expert. I'll never forget how he opened the programme. His name is Dan Kennedy, and there were several hundred people who paid several thousand dollars to be there for like a weekend. And his opening line, as best as I remember it, was, "Hello, I'm glad you're here. I'm looking for slow learners with a lot of money." And it got this giant laugh. And yet, there was kind of a truth to it. Like, obviously, he wants to make as much revenue as possible, but the transparency of it was just wonderful. And now that fit his personality. He had kind of this cowboy, tough guy, shoot straight, honesty approach. Someone else might feel really comfortable telling a story in a setting as, say, seminar leader. But the most important thing, I think, in this arena is, we have this misguided idea about humour, and about change, that it's all external, meaning someone else is going to make me laugh, someone else is going to change my life. One of my favourite sayings came from a motivational kind of programme, and it was, for things to change, first I must change. So, if you want to bring more humour into a setting like you've been describing, Jeremy, you have to go first. You have to decide, well, number one, I'm going to enjoy it. And maybe number two, I'm going to involve other people. And then three, I'm going to be open to what happens. In the world of improvisation, they call this, 'Yes, and.' I'm going to say yes to what's happening, and I'm going to add, I'm going to bring something to the party. So, those are some thoughts. I hope I'm scratching where you're itching on this idea of change.

Jeremy Cline [00:21:21]:
Okay, so for someone who does this sort of training and who's recognising that they perhaps don't inject much or necessarily any humour into their sessions, and they're thinking that they might want to, but they're also someone who, perhaps they get quite nervous around this sort of thing, and there's an awful lot of mental bandwidth around just the act of giving the training, the presentation, not getting it wrong, maybe speaking to senior people, feeling judged, that kind of thing, what's the low-friction way that someone like that can try something out?

Adam Christing [00:22:11]:
Well, first I want to acknowledge that it's not unusual. In fact, it's quite normal to feel nervous. During the COVID days, I was invited to be the MC for a tractor dealership company. And even though there was no one, virtually no one in the audience, I knew I was speaking to hundreds of people around the world. And they said, 'You're on in two minutes.' And I felt so nervous. I had to find, I'll try to make this not gross sounding, but I found an artificial plant and used that to kind of relieve my upset stomach real quick, then came back and was all smiles and the show must go on, right? So, one of the things I train clients about is, it's okay, in fact, it's actually good to feel nervousness if you frame it as adrenaline and not as crippling, but think of a great Olympic athlete is going to feel those type of nervous jitters. One person put it this way: when you feel the butterflies in your stomach, get them to fly in formation. And so, now I get nervous when I'm not nervous. Like recently, I was a little concerned because I wasn't feeling any nervousness, and that's okay too. But I've now learned to frame it as, oh great, this is almost like an energy drink inside the body that's saying you're going to crush this. But another tip that addresses your question about sort of easing in is, the great comedians do the same material over and over for different audiences. People who play with humour and find disappointment, what they're doing is, they're trying out new material all the time for the same old audience. How that translates to people in the workplace is, if you're going to try out a joke, well, try it out with your family, try it out at your temple or your synagogue or your church or your social group meeting. If the stakes are really high, let's say it's a sales award programme, and you're the kick-off speaker, you don't want to be in your head when you deliver it. You want to be in your heart. You want to be relaxed. One of the things I enjoy about talking with you is, you're not afraid of a silence. You're not afraid to give conversation a beat. You want to be that way when you're delivering humour, because whether you have an audience of one or 1,000, humans can sense fear. Even if it doesn't show on your face, they can just feel it. It's a palpable thing. And the way to feel less fear is to try it out. Try it out in safer settings, so when the stakes are higher, you're more relaxed.

Jeremy Cline [00:24:59]:
So, in other words, doing a little bit of practice, doing a little bit of prep, a little bit of repetition beforehand.

Adam Christing [00:25:07]:
That's right. Maybe my favourite humour quotation of all time in terms of being a practical thing is, the late, great Mark Twain said, 'It takes me three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.' And so, many times in my work, I get some big laughs and people say, 'How did you come up with that?' And usually, I don't tell them the secret, but I'm going to tell you and your listeners. Well, I came up with that 20 years ago. I just remembered it and pulled it out almost like... When I was a kid, I'm not sure about in the UK, but we had a character, Felix the Cat. And he had this bag of tricks. He was a cat. And so, they had a little song, whenever he gets in a fix, he reaches into his bag of tricks. And so, if you have a bag of tricks, if you have a good joke, if you have a go-to story, if you have an icebreaker that you're comfortable doing, you now have a little bag of tricks that you can pull out for the appropriate setting.

Jeremy Cline [00:26:10]:
Switching gears a little bit and putting us in the team building setting. So, some kind of team building event where interaction is expected and encouraged, perhaps more so than presentation or training. It always feels like there's the danger of something becoming enforced fun, slightly cringeworthy, on a Silly Hat Friday or something like that, where you just envisage people having a sort of slightly rictus grin and, 'Yeah, am I supposed to be enjoying this kind of thing?' How, when you're trying encourage teams to work together and that sort of thing, can you do it, again in a way which is authentic and doesn't feel like you're forcing people to do these weird things? But perhaps you are looking also to take them out of their comfort zone.

Adam Christing [00:27:04]:
Yeah, that's a great question. There is a tension there. I think we have to remind ourselves that we feel before we think. We like to believe that we're thinkers, but I think, as humans, primarily we are linkers. And so, the first thing I want to do is, I want to link with the audience. And when I say audience, again, it could be three people or 300, doesn't matter, but I want to use their names, I want to participate. If I just go for the head, it's kind of crass, but one of my friends says, 'When you're thinking about business, remember that the heart is a lot closer to the wallet than the head is.' In that sense, when you're going for the heart, when you're going for emotions, and I'll give you a shortcut to this, you've heard the word, of course, nobody, but if you break that down, it's no body. So, when we're just going for the brain, sometimes we're leaving out the full engagement of people. I'll give you another example of this. I thought this was going to flop. I thought this thing I'm about to describe was like you were warning about this sort of enforced fun, but the event that I was doing needed some extra time. So, on the spot, I said, I'm going to try this. I had probably 150 people. Everyone stand. And to my left will be January, February, around the room in a circle, get into your birthday group, so that physically, their bodies are going to some part of the room. And it turns out there are seven people born in January, there's only two born in February, there's a bunch in August. And I couldn't believe the fun that they had with this. Several people found like, 'You were born on September 26th? So was I. I can't, whoa.' And it ended up filling about 10 minutes, and it didn't feel like forced. It felt like an invitation to get to know each other better. And maybe that's one of the big keys, Jeremy, it's an invitation more than a prescription. And this goes back to one of the first things I shared with you, and that is the idea that you must first enjoy it. I've been on many radio shows back when there were more radio shows and fewer, before podcasts, and I had a comedian friend, and he and I had this little secret, and I'll share it with you. And the secret was, no matter what they ask us, no matter what topic comes up, let's you and I have fun. And what we noticed is, when we had fun, the host, the calling audience, whoever was involved, they had a better time. So, I would say two things: make sure you're having a good time, and then invite other people into it in a way that feels intentional. Here's a big word I've been wanting to use. Avoid being didactic. And I know you know what that means, but some people may not. It's like over-teachy, over-preachy. So, you don't have to justify. You don't have to say, 'Research and studies show that if we do this silly thing with the 12 months, we are going to feel more in harmony.' You don't have to do it; just experience it, invite it. If it doesn't work, you can have some fun with the fact that it didn't work. And by the way, I call that 'half-enticity', where you're just being real in the moment. Like, hey, that was a flop, but then that becomes funny.

Jeremy Cline [00:30:24]:
Coming back to this idea of authenticity, and there's that dividing line which is sometimes quite difficult to tread between being your authentic self at work, but also being professional. And I'm guessing that when it comes to using humour, that's something you've also got to be aware of. So, I'm curious how you stay on the right side of the line.

Adam Christing [00:30:51]:
Yes, that's a really important question. One of my little sayings is, if in doubt, leave it out. Many times when I'm the master of ceremonies... Would you say compère? Is that the word in the UK?

Jeremy Cline [00:31:03]:
Yeah, compère.

Adam Christing [00:31:04]:
Yeah. When I'm serving in that role, part of my job is to create fun, humour transitions from one speaker to the next. And I may walk up to the platform, and I have a funny thing to say about the previous speaker's shoes, or this person's hairstyle or something. But I let that almost like meditation, they say, just watch the thoughts float through your head like you're watching a parade. Just let them go. So, if in doubt, leave it out. If I think, well, this is going to offend someone, I just skip it. They don't know what I'm thinking. At the same time, I want to take some risks, because humour is inherently playful, and there's some risk involved. So, here's where I find that balance, start with self-effacing humour. I've never once in all my years of doing this kind of humour work, I've never once had someone come up and say, 'Adam, we were really offended by that story you told where you messed up.' You just never hear that, right? But I have offended some people by making them feel mocked. And so, I've learned that maybe the most go-to humour tactic for leaders is poking fun at yourself.

Jeremy Cline [00:32:23]:
That's interesting because the most controversial comedians have always seemed to be those who aim both barrels at other people, and perhaps less so at themselves.

Adam Christing [00:32:36]:
Yes, but you'll probably notice they're not the most effective in the corporate setting, right? They're not, they're probably not the ones being asked to give the motivational talk or present the annual. In the US, and I'm sure this was an international thing, in Beverly Hills, California, they do the Golden Globes at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, and there've been entertainers and celebrities who just mock the others. And it's very funny to us as non-celebrities watching it. But if you tried that in a work setting, you might get laughs for 30 minutes or something, but you might get a memo from HR, or you might get called in and someone says, 'You know, you really offended this person.' So, by poking fun at yourself, and I do caution people, you want to do self-effacing humour, not self-defeating humour. And so, I love telling stories of when I flopped. I was once in front of an international audience. I was very nervous. I was wearing an uncomfortable suit or tux. And I stumbled on the way up to the platform, Jeremy, and I was very embarrassed. I didn't say anything about it. They'd had a strange step on the stage. So, when I completed my remarks, I was going back to my spot, and I stumbled again. And I thought, I'm supposed to be the host. And I texted a friend, and she had a brilliant piece of advice. She said, 'Do it again.' So, when I did it the third time, it actually looked like, 'Oh, he's just having fun. He's this guy who kind of trips up on his shoelace.' The key was kind of embracing what had happened, instead of trying to cancel it. Accept it and roll with it. So, think of it as, it's almost like a frisbee or a ball that you're catching, and then you can decide to give it a spin, to pass it to someone else. But first you have to receive it. So, you have to acknowledge what's happening in the room. Many leaders don't want to do that. They want to barrel through and say, 'I'm here, this is important.' But if they just do what you do so well as a podcast host, it's like, let things breathe. Be in the moment. I would say I have probably listened my way into more laughter with an audience, than I've talked my way in.

Jeremy Cline [00:35:02]:
You've listened your way into laughter more than you've talked your way in. Could you develop that a little bit? That sounds intriguing.

Adam Christing [00:35:11]:
Yes. So, let's say I'm given a note card. We want you to announce that there's a showroom, there are sponsors we want you to meet. And so, I'm making my announcements. But then, something happens where someone stands up, or they say something funny. And this just happened to me recently in Orlando where I met this woman who, probably middle-aged, but has an unbelievable ability to do a karate kick. And I started talking to her during the break, and she said, 'Oh yeah, I'm happy to demonstrate it.' And so, I embraced this audience member, not physically, but embrace meaning I invited her up, and she did this kick, and everybody loved it. So, I was listening to what was going on in the room. Here was someone who was willing to participate. So, I'm going to weave that into my presentation. I forget what I said, something like, you know, we're going to kick the competition, or we're going to kick off the year. But if I had just simply stuck with my script, what I wanted to say, I would have missed out on one of the highlights of that conference.

Jeremy Cline [00:36:18]:
Going back to something you briefly touched upon earlier when you were talking about COVID and the fact that most people weren't there in person, how do you use humour when you're in that setting, and it's difficult to gauge the reaction of others because you might be all tiny boxes on a screen. So, what makes that different, and how do you adjust?

Adam Christing [00:36:50]:
I remember being booked during COVID days to host, what they call a hybrid event, where many of the people were tuning in from their home bases by Zoom. Some were in person. They said, now some are wearing tags on their wrist, like wristbands in red, which means 'Don't come near me.' Some are wearing wristbands that are yellow, which means 'You can come within five, 10 feet, but not too close.' And then, some are watching on screen. I'm thinking, how in the world am I going to connect all these people? What I noticed there on site, people were wearing masks, and they would walk up to each other, and they would pull the masks down and start talking to each other, walk away and put the mask back up. Which was very, very funny later, but what it reminded me of is, we have such a need to connect. So, if you're doing a Zoom call, like we're doing now, this is an audio interview, but I can see you, and you can see me, I can see your reactions. And so, I feel more connected to you than if it was audio only. So, you want to look for as many ways as you can connect. In person, you want to get people closer together. In a Zoom call, you want to see their faces. So, if I'm doing some humour, like recently, I was doing a comedy presentation for Clorox, the big company, and I could have just done a monologue, but I said, no, one by one, we're going to call people up on this Zoom screen, and I'll have a fun moment with them. So, two things happen. One, people get to see, human face is the most expressive thing maybe in the universe, that we know of, right? So, they get to see laughter, they get to see eyes moving, eyebrows going up, maybe a surprise happened. So, now we're experiencing it more together, even though we're not physically together. And the other thing that was powerful about that is, I'm putting other people in the spotlight. And this goes back to your core audience, I think, with work life, as a leader, as a manager, the more you can put the spotlight on other people and use humour as cement that connects people together, the more fun you'll have, and the more productive you'll be. There are some really interesting studies that show that when people are laughing together, all kinds of great things happen. Collaboration improves, productivity improves, sick days go down. So, it really is worth incorporating into your work life.

Jeremy Cline [00:39:24]:
Adam, this has been a very interesting and very practical conversation, which I really appreciate. I mentioned that you've got a book. Where would you like people to go to get that or to find out more about you?

Adam Christing [00:39:38]:
Oh, thank you. Yes, they can go to thelaughterfactor.com, and what's great is, of course, you can order the book through thelaughterfactor.com, but there's a free resource there, I believe that everyone has at least one of the five laugh languages, and so there's a free test that your listeners can take there, Jeremy. It takes about four minutes to complete it. And then, you'll receive an email that tells you, you know, your laugh language is probably surprise, or your laugh language may be amplify, you're a storyteller. So, that would be probably the best resource to see what I'm up to.

Jeremy Cline [00:40:12]:
Ooh, I'm intrigued. I might have to do that test myself. It sounds interesting. Well, Adam, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. It's been a fascinating conversation. Really enjoyed hearing about the topic. So, yeah, thank you for coming on.

Adam Christing [00:40:24]:
Oh, thank you so much. I enjoyed being with you.

Jeremy Cline [00:40:28]:
Okay. Hope you enjoyed that interview with Adam Christing. One of the points to draw out from what Adam was saying was the need for connection, and also the need for inclusivity, the need to, as he put it, be invited to the party. Humour at work is all very well, as long as everyone can join in the joke, that there's no one who's being either left out, or who's being made the butt of the jokes, or at least they're being made the butt of the jokes without their consent. And if it's something which you don't feel comes naturally to you, then the invitation from Adam is to try things out, to experiment. And I liked what he said about modelling but not mimicking. I know that there are times where I've tried to be like comedians that I enjoy or admire, and it's just fallen completely flat. Where it works better is to take an idea or a theme but make it my own, that fits in with me. And a good way not to offend anyone else is to use self-effacing humour, as distinct from self-defeating humour. Show notes will be on the website as usual. And you'll also find on there at changeworklife.com/coaching, that's changeworklife.com/coaching, some information about the work that I do with individuals. I'm currently working with someone who's looking to start their own business. They've actually got all the material ready to put their portfolio out to the world, and what I'm working with them on is what's currently getting in the way, what's stopping them. So, if that sounds like you, get in touch, go to changeworklife.com/coaching, and you can book a complimentary introductory call with me. There's another great interview coming up in two weeks' time, so if you haven't already, make sure you subscribe to the show so you get it as soon as it's released. And I can't wait to see you then. Cheers. Bye.